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| Freky Thirsty Beard, proud young dwarf and his army. |
Okay, it’s over. I feel drained.
Never before have I overestimated my abilities and underestimated the sheer volume of work I’d be facing quite like I did this season...
Sure, the idea of adding all those extra commission dwarves took a toll on my productivity (though not too much, given that I had overlapping commissions during the challenge last year). But the biggest factor was the Golden Rule: "No dwarf will be left behind." The original plan was to sell off most of the loose components from our collection to manage the workload and fund inevitable new purchases—well, you can see that didn't go exactly as I’d hoped.
What bothers me most is that I counted all the painted models and discovered they amounted to just under half the total. Seized by a sudden, feverish burst of energy, I pushed myself to the limit to paint at least the war machines, the available crew, and a handful of other scattered models... only to find out I’d miscalculated from the start and was *still* left with just under half finished! Damn it!
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| Dwarf i left behind. Aka the pile of shame. |
Anyway, here is the report on my final month of hard work:
NARNIA DWARVES
My wife (may her infinite patience, kindness, and support be forever blessed) has long owned a Narnia-themed army built using the Wood Elf list. So, we took this opportunity to freshen up the paintwork and add the remaining models. In her version, the Glade Guards and Wardancers are represented by Dwarf Archers and Warriors from the Middle-earth Strategy Battle Game. A total of 25 models (11 of which were painted from anew).
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| Archers |
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| Warriors |
WAR MACHINES
I’ve never mentioned just how TRULY TERRIBLE my son Bjorn and my wife Brandy (nomen omen) are at estimating distances and operating artillery correctly. That’s why this army doesn’t include cannons, even though they ought to be a hallmark of the Dwarven race. On the upside, we’ve always owned a sizable collection of war machines (I personally collect chariots and artillery pieces and have quite a few), so out came a complete catapult and a mantlet. Both are original pieces—favorites of mine—that were just waiting for the right moment to be assembled and painted. Unfortunately, the catapult was missing a few cranks, which I rebuilt using wire, and the mantlet was missing a leg that i rebuilt using a piece of sprue. For the mantlet’s crew, I chose two vintage Marauder engineers (some of my absolute favorites)and added a few details found in my bits box.
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| "Where are the orcs?" "Just, yes, about... There..." |
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| Mantlet and grudgethrower |
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| "Grendel" |
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| Digging equipment |
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| Siege engeneers |
I also found two ballistae on eBay—for less than nothing—but sadly, they came without crews. No big deal, though: right now, I’m swimming in loose Dwarves, characters, adventurers, and rogues who can man these machines until I manage to find the proper models.
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| Mantlet and ballistas |
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| "Dont panic, we just need our BS!" |
Speaking of war machines: my son (always him—my joy and my headache) has always wondered how these machines (especially the Anvil of Doom) get transported to the battlefield. "But Bjorn," I told him, "how many times have we maneuvered the cannon during reenactments? You have to push it by hand, and it gradually slides into position!" He wasn't convinced—the little smart-aleck. “Okay, Dad, but we only have to cover a few dozen meters on flat ground, whereas they’ll have to go for kilometers up and down mountains—what a drag that must be! They probably tow them with ponies, or better yet, with oxen… build me some oxen!” And just like that, I was hooked. I built him a dwarf ox-herder, sculpted in green stuff and based just in the nick of time.
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| Moo... |
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| Shadespyre's gifted head |
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| Ballista train |
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| Train for the Anvil of Doom |
RANKS AND FILES
And here, once again, I must hang my head in shame.
At the start of the project, the good Shadespyre (may his generosity be recorded in the annals for future generations) sent me an envelope containing TWO DWARF QUEENS (and a head). Now, the head is a classic 2nd Edition sculpt and was put to good use on the ox-herding dwarf I mentioned earlier... but the two queens deserved a place of honor. For months, I tried to find the right opportunity and the right approach for them—and, sadly, I still haven't quite managed it; I had planned an entire regiment of female dwarves, but so far, I’ve only managed to acquire or convert a handful. However, I absolutely did not want to end the OWAC season with the ultimate disgrace of letting such a significant gift rot in my "pile of shame." So, I decided to make one final push, dedicating a couple of nights to painting Queen Helga and her personal guard. Shieldmaiden? ABSOLUTELY NOT! “Stay a while and listen. The Dwarven race is ancient and long-lived, yet sadly plagued by a chronic scarcity of females. Official lore states that only one in ten births produces a female child; thus, Dwarven women are exceedingly rare, precious, and highly sought-after within Dawi society. In ages past—when Humanity was young—many Human maidens dedicated themselves to the sword, swearing never to yield to any man save the one valiant enough to defeat them in an honorable, fair duel (much like the real-world legend of Siegfried and the Valkyrie Brunhilde). For the Dwarves, however, such a custom is unthinkable. The Dawi’s foes are primarily Orcs, Goblins, and Skaven—monsters with whom no parley is possible—and, furthermore, Dwarves regard murder of kin as one of the most heinous crimes of all (as seen with Gotrek). Consequently, those female Dwarves who choose the perilous path of war dedicate themselves to the temples of Grimnir, God of War, and Valaya, Goddess of the Hearth. They vow never to take a husband and renounce their clan ties to live within a warrior sisterhood, training to protect the Queen and the royal lineage. Yet, from time to time, these warriors offer themselves ritually to worthy young Dwarves—specifically those who have neither wives nor children of their own. Only after bearing her first daughter does a warrior fully attain her status, gaining the right to participate in the fiercest battles and skirmishes. Any male child born of such a union is returned to his father and clan with great honor; any female child is raised within the sisterhood, educated and trained until she reaches maturity, at which point she may choose for herself whether to marry or follow in her mother’s martial footsteps.” And so, the Dwarven Shield-Matrons have carried on a unique tradition for millennia.
“Like the Greek Amazons, but less evil?”
“Exactly, Bjorn.”
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| The beautyful Queen Helga in both her versions, kindly gifted by my mate: Shadespyre |
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| The Matrons |
AFTERMATH
To wrap things up, here is the total haul from seven long months, followed by a selection of photos taken on the house table. The most observant among you will notice the absence of the commission-painted models; they were excluded from the challenge from the very start and have long since been handed over to my client.
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| Some characters and Adventurers |
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| Artillery battery with evil dwarfs and steam guards in support |
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| The infamous Orange Line |
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| Bear riders |
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| Rangers and cart |
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| Queen Helga and the Matrons protecting the Anvil |
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| The stone elementals rising from the Mountain |
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| Finally, the Umberogenes join the Battle |
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| Slayers and Gaesati on the front line |
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| Proud elder |
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| The queens: Ravenna and Helga |
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| The Gods of Dawi and Men be blessed |
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| Sigmar and Kurgan Ironbeard fighting side by side |
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| War hounds unleashed |
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| Man and Dwarf together, as Always as Forever |
My little Dwarf is absolutely proud and happy: Not many boys his age possess an army like that.; many battles lie ahead, and soon—step by step—every remaining dwarf will be painted and added to the army:
NO DWARF WILL BE LEFT BEHIND!
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| Björn Björnsson. Showing true norse happiness |
That is why I intend to
KEEP PAINTING, STAY OLD SCHOOL.🤘🏼
